covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You can't special order awesome
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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