I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
How does one acquire holy water?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
