it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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