Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize