eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
