Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
