wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
