I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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