I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
