I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
