no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
