see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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