is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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