forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
