You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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