That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
