Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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