well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
