I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
