I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
