Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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