He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
