They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
