if you like me you must not know who I am
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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