I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
