I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
