that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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