i don't like sucking hair
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
