Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
