Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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