3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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