I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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