And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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