There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
