Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
