margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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