So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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