i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
