like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
