What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
