you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So much rum. So many feels.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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