Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
