there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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