Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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