Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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