He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
