That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
