i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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