Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
