Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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