Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
