I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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